La La Land - Heart Breaking and Terrific

La La Land - An Emotional Trip

Spoiler Alert!! If you haven't seen La La Land, firstly, go and see it as soon as possible. Secondly, shame on you for not seeing it yet. :) Thirdly, what are you doing reading this? Go see it!!

Spoiler Country Ahead

So, word on the street was La La Land was good. Critics were gushing. The academy dropped a

deluge of nominations on it and I had even heard from a few friends that they enjoyed it.

"But it has dancing and singing!" I said with gentle mistrust.

You see dear reader, I had been fooled before by the critics, academy and even close friends who shall remain nameless. A couple/few years ago I followed the recommendations to the silver screen and saw the movie The Artist. To jog your memory, it is the film in black and white, without a talk track until the last moment of the film.

Don't get me wrong it wasn't terrible, but I found myself shifting in my seat and checking my phone several times to see if they had invented time travel yet so I could zip forward and hour or so. I'm being dramatic, but it was a three star film in a five star film's ball gown.

Yes, I am aware the film was nominated and won the academy award for best picture, so what the hell do I know. However, I would wager it is one of those Best Picture Winners which will fade into the past and wont have a lasting audience. Others in that category, Shakespeare in Love (Which I enjoyed), Crash, American Beauty and Napoleon Dynamite. (Just testing to see if you are paying attention)

So needless to say I was hesitant to go see La La Land. However, my wife wanted to go, and it is late January, not a hot bed for the release of great films. This is normally the time they re-boot some kind of Vin Diesel hack job or drop Resident Evil Part 76 Return of the Evil that Resides onto audiences. So, choices were scarce.

Being an above par husband, thinking of the happiness of his spouse above his own, and who wished to get lucky that night, I acquiesced my wishes and we went and saw La La Land.

And...I loved it, damn it!

Both Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling are dreamers. Emma wants to be a successful actress. Ryan

wants to open a club and share his love of Jazz. A love which is infectious. They both struggle painfully, endearingly and amusingly. Lots of adverbs. They are soul mates. Both of them feeding off of each other's enthusiasm for their dreams, both supportive.

To make a long story short.  Their dreams are what brings them together. And through their relationship, both of their dreams become realities. However, in the end, they must sacrifice their relationship to reach the dream.

It is both heartbreaking and beautiful.

I have thought a lot about why I enjoyed it so thoroughly. I think its because, I was presented with a similar question once in my life. Film making or your family.

Ever since I was young I wanted to be a storyteller. I wrote stories, put on plays and made movies. The creative process gave me such unspeakable satisfaction that I was determined to be a film director. By the time I was twenty-three I felt like I was on my way. I was married, had a newborn,  and was in the process of directing/producing a documentary called Forgotten Gunfighters.

These were heady days. I was working with film professionals, had a cast of about 20 people, all working together to take the story we were wanting to tell and put it onto screen. I can remember having to be reminded to eat, which if you know me is extraordinary, during production and post production. The experience consumed me.

When the sales didn't come as we had thought, and ancillary work began to dry up, I couldn't make ends meet with my dream. I was accountable to a young wife and a baby boy, but I was unwilling to take a job stocking shelves.

"I had been in charge of a film production with a budget of close to a 100k, I'm not going to go stock shelves!"

I held out for only film work and I continued to write my screenplays. The opportunity would come, I assured myself.

Well it didn't. My refusal to compromise my dream for my family, put us into severe financial duress and we had to move back in with my parents. Soon after, my little family blew up. My wife filed for divorce and took our son out of state.

I can tell you, at that moment, my dreams didn't seem so important. All I could think of was my relationship with my wife and son.

So while watching La La Land and seeing a similar situation play out, albeit with very different circumstances, it brought back memories. Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone made the decisions to follow their dreams instead of keeping their relationship. Both of them "made it." But at the end of the film, when they meet by chance five years later in Ryan's Jazz club they are both given a glimpse into what their lives might have been if they would have stayed together. It is very emotional. They would have been happy... But, in the end, even though they aren't together, they are still happy.

I believe that life can be full of silver linings if you look for them and are grateful for what you do have.

My story has a silver lining. Eventually, my wife and I reconciled and were remarried and now I have 5 kids... 1,2,3,4,5.... Okay maybe that isn't a silver lining, maybe thats a horror story. :)